Chapter IV

   Later that night as we were all sitting down to dinner I noticed that Isaiah was really scrutinizing me, and then finally he said the funniest thing...
   "You look really different Jazzy..." I held back giggles and tried not to spit my bite of chicken out on the rest of the food.
   "It's been almost two years Zaia, and you changed a lot more than I did if you ask me. I already hit adulthood, my body isn't going to really change anymore, besides my hair, unless I have kids or something which I don't plan on it anytime soon considering I don't have anyone I'm interested in." I ruffled his brown hair and he rolled his eyes.
   Yup, definitely a teenage boy... I miss it when he was a little boy, he was cuter then and less sassy.
   "So, how has college been going for you two?" Dad suddenly started talking.
   Abby shrugged. "Good, I really want to graduate because I want to start planning my wedding already, but both Tyler and I know it'll definitely be better if we wait until we get out of college." Dad smiled.
   "How long have you two been together exactly?" Dad asked.
   "A year or so..." Abby blushed. Her and Tyler's relationship was kind of a touchy and embarrassing subject for her when people asked questions.
   "I really hope whoever your going to marry Jazmine is going to ask us before they make any move, I don't want to see you go off and get married in Vegas." Dad told me in a firm "dadlike" voice.
   "Ha-ha, your funny daddy. I don't have a love interest anymore, the last two boys I had any sort of relationship with were casual dinner dates with each of them for 3 weeks, they both decided I wasn't their "type" is how they both put it and they said it wasn't working out... and being the girl I am I didn't really care. I wasn't enjoying being with them, Daryl was to cocky, and Kenny was to terse and seemed to hate any kind of fun..." I took another bite of fried chicken as dad took that in.
   "Well now you know why we always said no dating for you, there are a lot of jerks out there who think that women are just toys to them." Mom looked at me sympathetically, and I believed her... from experience and from her telling me.
   When she was a teenager it was really complicated for her, she dated like any teenager usually does, it was rough and finally she met my dad and of course they're married and strong in the Lord like I am. I was raised with Jesus in my home fortunately.
   "Well, I honestly don't think I'll 'date' again... I just didn't enjoy it. I want it to be a relationship where we can have fun and be as goofy as we want and not have all that pressure to have sex that's in the society... I want a guy friend like I was with Paul when we were kids." I frowned.
   I felt Abby put her arm around me. "Don't worry Jazz, he'll come along before you know it." I smirked and brushed my bangs out of my face.
   "Don't rush and try to find someone to marry Jazmine, trust me you'll regret it..." Mom glared at dad and slapped his arm, he laughed. "And then before you know it you'll end up loving your husband anyway and having three rough, loud, and destructive boys and one quiet little girl... and all through the hell of raising children you're relationship with your spouce will get stronger and you'll love each other even more." Dad put his arm around mom and kissed her head. Mom turned her head and they kissed on the lips for half a second and of course Dylon had to butt in.
   "Ugh, please I'm eating..." Dylon gagged, making a disgusted face.
   "You know your next, right?" I asked him, snorting with amusement at how he still openly denied that he doesn't like girls when he clearly does, I saw him staring at girls in our neighborhood when they walked by with a lot of interest.
   "No I'm not! I'm never getting married or even getting into a serious relationship with someone, I'm not going to be some tied down husband that'll be a slave to his wife." He snapped, I saw dad roll his eyes.
   "You're scaring me Ansel..." Abby laughed.
   Dad chuckled. "Don't worry Abby, marriage isn't that bad. Just make sure you wait to have kids for a couple years, and also enjoy being not married while you still can. Your going to miss it at least a little when you are married... but all in all, speaking from experience I can't imagine living with out Kathy." He kissed mom on the head again, Dylon made a gagging sound and thankfully dad ignored him.
   There was a loud knock on the door and then it opened and the man I didn't expect too see came through the door; Arty.
   "Haaappy early Thanksgiving!" And in came Arty with his wife Val, I jumped out of my chair running to Arty and practically jumping onto him smothering him in a hug.
   "Hey what do you know, my big college little sis!" He laughed and hugged me back.
   "Arty I missed you so much!" I looked up at him and I started to tear up.
   "Same here Jazz," He hugged me tight. "Ohh... it feels good to hug you again..." He sighed.
   "Well that's something you don't see everyday," Dad laughed. "You two fought almost all the time when you were little."
   Arty rolled his eyes and hugged dad. "Good to see you to dad." Arty chuckled.
   "Hey Val," I hugged my sister-in-law and she smiled warmly. "How have you been?"
   Her eyes seemed to sparkle with excitement. "I've actually been pretty good..."
   "Yes we have been," Arty picked gave me a squeeze hug from behind and I laughed. When I turned around I saw the same excitement as Val had in her eyes in his.
   "What are you two hiding?" I asked.
   Arty grinned, and then dad and mom and my brothers noticed how bubbly they were; like they were keeping something really exciting from us. 
   "Well, since we're all in the same room..." Arty gave a quick glance at his wife Val. 
   "Just tell them Arty! Your poor mom is bubbling over with excitement." Val laughed, a grin that seemed to spread across her face made her look absolutely happy.
   I glanced at mom, her expression was comical to say the least, her lips were pressed into a tight line but her eyes said that she was longing to know what Arty and Val were keeping from everybody.
   Arty grinned, and grabbed his wife's hand holding it gingerly, and gazed into her eyes for a moment. I couldn't believe how much stronger their relationship seems to have progressed, I felt like I was in the presence of a great leader with a leading lady by his side.
   He looked over all of us, and all the time smiling joyfully.
   "Well, I have some pretty big news... and we've kept it a secret until now so we could tell you all in person."  Arty explained, his cheeks looked as though they got a bit pinker as he spoke, he reached his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it briefly.
   He took a deep breath and smiled. "We're pregnant," 
   Those two words sent of an eruption of happy squeals from both me and my mom. My mom started crying even, her face looked absolutely happy but tears were running out of her eyes like a waterfall. She got up off of the table and came over to Val and gave her a huge hug, and then gave her tall son a hug too.
   "Congratulations you guys! Its about time!" I jumped up and down with pure joy, this was totally turning out to be one of the greatest holidays EVER!
   "I will be the most awesome auntie ever! Your kid is going to love me and I will spoil him or her rotten," I teased both of them, grinning widly.
   "As long as you don't feed him lots of sugar and leave him for us to take care of, I think he'll be fine." Arty laughed, putting his arm around my shoulders.
   "Why, how did you know?" I punched his ribs playfully.
   "Your such a feisty one, aren't you?" He chuckled, roughing my hair up a bit.
   "How far along are you Val?" I asked, trying to fix my hair.
   "About two, almost three months. My doctor back home says I'm due sometime in July next year, we'll know once I get closer." Val put her hand on her stomach and smiled, and now that we knew she did have somewhat of a baby stomach on her. It was beginning to form that big round belly that pregnant women have.
   "Well congratulations, and I want to be there for the birth... so let me know when your due date is so I can plan and hopefully be there for when that little baby comes." I smiled at Val, she smiled back and I gave her a hug.
   "Well come on you guys, lets finish up dinner!" Mom gestured everybody to the table and took two more plates from the cupboard and started filling them with chicken and noodles.
   I smiled as I sat down at the table my heart fluttered with excitement, this holiday seriously can't get any better than this. I might have to consider moving back here to be with my family for a while... 

Chapter III

   "... 'Jessa! My baby!' My mother embraced me and cried, hard. After all... how could she not be heartbroken? I disappeared for over a year to a totally different world... but it's all over now. Embaria is no longer part of my life, along with all of my best friends I have made. I will never see them again...
   I suppose it's better this way, a human teenager like me doesn't belong in Embaria... no one from Earth ever will. Just as well, I am never to go back there... that is a clear sign... I shouldn't live in that world if all my presence is going to cause is pain and suffering.
   That's all I ever caused; along with my own internal pain... James no longer loves me, just as he said: 'This is for your own protection Jessa, just forget me and move on... I'm not worthy to be a part of your life. Your better than me, especially after all the terrible mistakes I've made...'
   The only sound I could hear as my mother prodded me with questions was the sound of the brisk autumn breeze blowing the leaves off the trees... I watched as they hit the ground softly making the slightest sound of a crunch.
   Maybe James is right; it is time for me to move on... I don't belong with them. I never will, all I ever will be is myself: Jessa Allyson Banks... I will, and always will be; forever Jessa..."

   

the end

   I smiled as I wrote the last few words... I finally finished it... "Forever Jessa" is finally completed.

   Final draft; exactly 623 pages long!

   "Ok Jazz, we're all set to leave tomorrow bright and early..." Abby smiled and sat down next to me, looking a little tired.

   "That's good, that will give me time to think about what kind of novel I should write next. Or maybe even if I want to attempt to write a trilogy..." I clicked save and smiled proudly.

   Abby's eyes lit up immediately. "You finished it?!" She squealed.

   I grinned and nodded.

   "That's fantastic Jazmine!" She hugged me and bounced with excitement. "How long is it now that you've finished it?"

   "623 pages long..." I blushed.

   She grinned. "That's fantastic still! That's totally long enough to be a good sized book... the ones that we like to read." She giggled.

   "Do you think you'll send it to a publisher?" She asked still beaming.

   I looked at the Microsoft word document with some curiosity, and... some... reluctance.

   Do I want to risk getting my spirits down because a publishing company said my book is no good?

   "Well," I bit my lip. Abby groaned beside me.

   "Not again," She huffed. "It's honestly your choice Jazmine, your my best friend and there's nothing I can do to force you to do something that you don't want to do. But I will be there for you..." I turned my head to look at her, she smiled comfortingly.

   "I promise on God that I will be there for you every step of the way if you do send it in... but if I were you. Before I do anything; I would pray about it... you can wait to send it in till January or February once school starts up again if you want. But still, pray about it..." She put her hand on my shoulder to comfort my fried brain.

   I sighed deeply. "I'll think about it... I guess I can't stop it. What happens, happens, God is in control." I smiled and brushed my brown hair out of my face.

   I stayed awake in my bed tossing and turning and wondering whether or not to send in my book, just as I was about to go to sleep I heard a voice in the back of my head; "Send it in tomorrow morning Jazmine, now sleep..."

  

 *

   I was up before the sleeping hazel eyed girl I call my best friend, in fact I was up around 4AM. Which is surprising for me; but there's no way that I'm going to wait to print my book out. I'm ready to send it in and nothing is going to stand in my way.

   I got up and rushed around the room making sure I had everything for the trip back to Humboldt- which I was surprisingly feeling pretty excited about- and then I got myself dressed.

   I picked out some nice dark blue jeans, and black UGGS to go with that, then a crimson red blouse with a striped white and emerald green scarf. I got my knitted hat that my mom made me so long ago just before I left for college and put it on, I grabbed my jacket and hung it over my desk chair neatly and sat down to start printing out my book.

   I had no clue what I was doing as I began printing out all 623 pages but I did it all, I signed the book at the end in the best cursive writing I could do and then started to staple sections of it together.

   In the end I slipped it all into a big orange envelope and wrote a quick letter with my contact information inside of it and slipped it in with my book and stapled the orange package shut.

   "Whoa, your up..." Abby mumbled, I turned my head and saw her rubbing her eyes still in her pajamas looking quite groggy.

   "I had to... do something..." I tried to hide the envelope behind my back, but my flushed face betrayed my secret.

   "Your sending your book in?" Abby grinned, suddenly very awake.

   I smiled sheepishly, "Yeah... do you mind if I drop it off at Mrs. Lorenzo's classroom? She said she'd send in any book from any student in her class to New York Times..." Abby stared at me like I'd just said I was a fairy.

   "Send it into... New York Times?" Her brow furrowed. "Are you sure she said that?" She asked, quite disbelieving.

   I nodded, and grabbed my laptop and put it into its case for the trip.

   "Come on, go get dressed. I want to get home ASAP..." I smiled, Abby chuckled in amusement and headed back to our bedroom to get dressed.

   "Mrs. Lorenzo?" I knocked softly on her classroom door.

   "Come in," A cheerful voice came from inside. I opened the door and smiled to see my jittery 30 year old teacher decorating her classroom with Thanksgiving decorations.

   "Oh! Hello Jazmine..." She seemed surprise to see me, I held the envelope behind my back with a big excited grin trying to creep past my lips.

   "Hi," I greeted her.

   "How can I help you deary?" She asked with a smile, a few strands of her golden blonde hair fell loose out of her casual pony tail. Her blue-green eyes twinkled at me as she waited for me to reply, she's always reminded me so much of my mom. I really honestly think of her AS a second mother...

   She's always been so good to me and Abby, she came to our dorm on Thanksgiving and Christmas last year and both our birthdays and gave us gifts too. She's a really sweet woman...

   "I um, I-I finished my book..." I stammered, for some reason suddenly feeling kind of sick. I handed the envelope to Mrs. Lorenzo and she stared at the big object in her hands with shock. First she was silent, and then she looked at me with a big smile across her face.

   "Congratulations Jazmine." She hugged me briefly and then smiled.

   "Do you want me to send it in?" I nodded violently, she smiled again and sat it down on her desk gently.

   "I'll send it in as soon as I can, or did you want to help?" She asked.

   "Well, I'm leaving... today... to go back home for the holidays. I would really appreciate it if you sent it in while I'm gone. Just call me on my cell phone if something comes up for it, thank you SO much Mrs. Lorenzo..." I hugged her tightly.

   "Please Jazmine, call me Eleanore.." She laughed.

   "All right, will do... I'll see you when I get back from Humboldt in January Eleanore." I giggled and ran out the door to go to the car.

   "How was it? Did she say she would send it in?" Abby immediately prodded as soon as I got into the drivers seat.

   "Yeah! Gosh I'm so excited!" I grinned.

   "Well don't get your hopes up too high Jazz, you never know if they will read it. It could take a really long time before they actually read it... like years..." I rolled my eyes.

   "I'm not stupid, but... to be honest. I don't think I would've sent it in until I went to sleep last night..." I bit my lip and remembered that soft gentle voice I heard when I went to sleep; could that have been God speaking to me?

   "What do you mean?" Abby stared at me looking quite confused.

   "I heard someone talking to me softly just before I went off to sleep, the voice said: 'Send it in tomorrow morning Jazmine, now sleep...' And then I just drifted off to sleep..." I became a little bit dazed as I remembered it.

   "Weird..." Abby blinked, I smirked as she just stared off into space wondering...

   I turned the car on and knocked Abby out of her daydream, I laughed and rolled down my window and backed out of the parking lot and started towards home... it would take at least 2 days to get there but it's worth the time. To be honest; I'm beyond ecstatic to see my family again... even though my little brothers are pests most of the time I love them a lot.

   As the day passed on and minutes turned into long hours, after only 1 rest out of the car to get something to eat we were both very tired of being in the car. But after a long drive through cold dark snowy mountains; we finally made it to Boise, Idaho. We checked into a hotel for the night surrounded by white, fluffy snow that looked quite tempting to play in...

   I watched a few children roll around in the snow making snowmen and building forts, it's odd that its this cold already this time of the year. There was only about 2 inches of snow covering the ground but it was enough to keep those kids happy.

   I stifled a laugh when one of the kids got pelted in the face with a hard snowball, he screamed and tackled the boy that hit him with it. I giggled and proceeded from the car up to our little suite room...

   That night in bed I lay on my side, unable to go to sleep, listening to the sound of the cars driving outside and the horns, and even a dog barking somewhere far off. And then just beside me the sound of Abby snoring loudly. My mind tossed and turned going through all my wonderful memorable times back in Humboldt...

   My heart fluttered when an image of Paul flooded my mind, when of course he was little... so little that its almost hilarious how many physical and mental changes he has received with age. But of course, things like that come with age... its only the natural order of things for humans and animals. Just like I have grown from a single cell organism in my mothers' womb, to an adult woman just like my mother and every other female human on earth.

   I rolled onto my back and went back to a day that was probably the best I've had in a really long time... my sweet 16th birthday...

   "Come on, why won't you tell me what we're doing dad?" I whined, my dad just chuckled all the time as I begged him to reveal his secret.

   Today is my 16th birthday, a quite great day for me considering that I am finally 16 and almost a full fledged woman. First I went to church since it is a Sunday; practically everyone wished me a happy birthday in church. I tried to get Abby and Paul to come over for a water fight with me and my brothers but first they said they were busy, and then my dad informed me that he was taking me out for the whole day just a daughter, father outing.

   Of course I was excited immediately, we went bowling, ate Chinese food, and went for a hike the rest of the day and then he suddenly took me to the mall and let me pick out any prom dress I wanted and then told me to pick out earrings, a necklace, a bracelet, and shoes to go with the dress.

   And once we bought it he told me to go change into all of that stuff, and I did, but then he took me to a salon and had me get my hair curled and my bangs pulled back into a barrette on the back of my head. And of course I got my makeup done profesionally, and so here I am now all dolled up, with no clue as to where I am heading with my father.

   "I'm not telling you so just sit patiently..." Dad smiled, amused that I was so impatient. An unfortunate habit I'd picked up from him...

   He was all dolled up too, his hair was combed neatly and he was in a tuxedo. It must be something really important, ugh! If only I knew!

   The sun was setting just now on this beautiful spring day, I love May so much... and trust me I'm quite glad I was born in the spring. In May; all the flowers are blooming and the birds are always singing early in the morning and on occasion I like to wake up to watch the sunrise.

   I honestly don't like getting all dolled up like this 99% of the time, only on special occasions like Christmas and Thanksgiving. But even then I really try my hardest to find a fancy shirt and then just put on a pair of jeans and some nice tennis shoes and I'm good, or just ballet flats.

   I'm a really big tomboy, me and Abby love getting dirty with the horses at Field of Dreams. One time we were up at Corrie's ranch galloping around the arena and it was the middle of summer, the arena gets really dusty during that time of year, and we stirred all the dust up and were covered with dirt by the time we finished... literally.

   It was a lot of fun but we got lectured by my mom, and she refused to let us into her car with out getting hosed down. Luckily we had on jean shorts and a T-shirts only, so I just took off my shoes and we stood in line to get hosed off.

   I still ride a lot, its tons of fun, me and Abby have had the best of times there at that ranch. Especially when we go galloping bareback further up in the mountain that Corrie lives on, its SO much fun just taking Laredo and Tipper on a full blown gallop. Laredo is my baby and Tipper is Abby's baby, they love us both very much. If I could I would buy Laredo but he's not for sale...

   Abby and I have done so many photo shoots with Paul as the camera man on those horses, I even got a couple pictures of him on the horse and with me back when we were in 9th grade.

   I have many elegant pictures with Laredo, and Paul and Abby too.

   We've had many crazy years together, its hard to believe that I'm going to be eighteen in just two years...

   "We're here..." Dad interrupted my daydreaming, I looked up and I saw my grandparents house. I stared completely confused... why were we here?

   "Your mother helped your grandmother prepare a fancy formal dinner for tonight, its just us." Dad answered my question even before it was out of my mouth.

   I got out of the car but jumped when the horn went off in his car, he looked guilty and smiled sheepishly.

   "Sorry it slipped..." He apologized when he got out of the car.

   I rolled my eyes and headed towards the house, only when I was at the doorstep did I realize that all the lights were off... and it was awfully quiet.

   I opened the door and squinted my eyes trying to find my way to the lightswitch.

   "Hello, is anyone here?" I called into the darkness, I thought I heard giggling and then a shush but then it stopped.

   I scrambled towards the living room doorway and groped around for the lightswitch, when I found it I switched it on color flooded my eyes.

   "SURPRISE!!" Many voices shouted in unison, I screamed dropping my purse on the ground and suddenly smiling. A gigantic banner hung across the wall read: HAPPY SWEET 16TH BIRTHDAY JAZMINE!!!

   With glitter on each of the letters and horses on the ends, I laughed and felt a couple tears weld up in the corners of my eyes.

   "Happy sweet 16th Jazz!" Abby embraced me in a tight hug, I hugged her back. I felt something placed on my head, I caught my reflection in the window and I blushed. I had on a small but elegant golden tiara in the shape of flowers and leaves.

   "Thank you so much," I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand, Abby laughed and then more hugs came from all my friends... everyone I knew was here all my friends from Alder Grove and church: Anna Manson, Caprice McRee, Sarah Penn, Leah Rhodney, Kate Stanton, Autumn Carnell, Michaela Hailey (Abby's little sister), Don Arens, Troy Edison, and Freddie Tyler.

   "Oh my gosh I can't believe you guys did this for me!" I bounced with excitement as I hugged Sarah.

   "Why not Jazz? We all love you and you know it!" She patted my shoulder and smiled happily.

   "Besides Jazmine! It's your 16th birthday! Your supposed to throw a huge bash..." Anna flipped her curly blonde hair out of her face and put an arm around my shoulders.

   "Thanks Anna," I laughed and smiled, why not have a good time? Its my special day...

   Everyone at this party was dressed all dolled up, apparantly dad wasn't lying about one thing; it was a formal dinner as I soon found out.

   We started just hanging out and having fun waiting for the food to be ready, when I realized that someone was missing...

   "I'll be right back guys," I left my friends to talk and I went to go find my mother.

   She was working in the kitchen busily with my grandmother.

   "Hey mom, was Paul invited?" She turned around and looked confused.

   "He's not here? He was invited..." I shook my head and she looked exhausted.

   "Sorry sweetie, I don't know where he is..." I groaned and went to the door, no headlights or anything approaching up the long driveway up to this house in the middle of the woods.

   That's when I realized that my brothers weren't here, all of them weren't. Where the heck are those boys?

   "Jazz, I just got a call from Arty he has Paul and your brothers in his car and he's driving them here. He picked up Paul and took him to get something that has to do with his gift to you for your birthday..." Dad put his hands on my shoulders, I looked up at him and nodded. "They should be here in about 5 to 10 minutes, Arty said he was driving up here as he was talking to me, so it won't be long..." Dad smiled as I looked up at him. A little secret I kept to myself that no one knew but Abby and my parents; I... used to have a crush on Paul when I was around 12, 13 years old. It's embarrassing... but I'm over it now. I will admit he IS really cute but I just don't feel that way about him, he was really flirtacious with me at that age too but I guess both of us knew in the back of our minds that we would most likely not get to date each other.

   Mainly because we aren't allowed to date anyone, mom said she might let me go on a date in the past when I turned 16... but I haven't found anyone... and it's just a little bit to awkward to ask Paul... if you know what I mean.

   I've known him for 13 years now, so yeah...

   He's really nothing more than a friend, besides I'm past those childish crushes... even though Abby occasionally teases me and reminds me of those days when I did have a crush on him, or as I called it "madly in love" with Paul back in those days.

   15 minutes passed soon enough, and I heard the front door open. My heart pounded against my chest as I strained my ears to listen for the sound of my brothers voices and Pauls'.

   "What took you so long?" My mom demanded, a hearty laugh came from a warm familiar voice of my big bro Arty.

   "Thanks for the warm welcome mother," He spat playfully.

   "Thanks for inviting me Kathy, I'm sorry I missed the surprise part. I had to finish up a long history essay that's due on Monday..." Paul's voice suddenly appeared, I smiled and my friends giggled next to me.

   "Jazmine and Paul up in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." Caprice whispered next to me, I gave her a sharp glare and a shush she giggled along with all my other friends probably all gossiping about me now. We did that at my brother Dyllan's birthday party a few years back when he turned 8, lots of fun... back when Paul had shoulder length hair...

   That was the days...

   "No harm done Paul, you should probably go in there and find Miss Jazzy before she finds you..." Mom chortled.

   "Oh yes, of course..." Paul played along and added a chuckle of his own.

   There was silence and I kept trying to see him over the crowd of people eating appettizers and drinking fruit punch and chatting, I saw my little brothers trying to find me. I smiled when Isaiah waved at me.

   "Happy Birthday again Jazz," Isaiah hugged me, I laughed and hugged him back.

   "Thanks Zea," I ruffled his light fluffy brown hair.

   I gave Dylon a hug too and then I spotted Paul, a grin broke across my face when his eyes found mine.

   "Paulio!" I made a mad dash across the room almost falling on my face in my 2 inch black high heels, I literally fell into Paul's arms, almost knocking him over in the process.

   He braced himself against the wall and pulled me up laughing.

   "Have you gotten stronger or something since I last saw you a few hours ago?" He chortled.

   "No, I'm just excited!" I grinned, I hugged him tight and he just chuckled but hugged me back.

   "I just saw you this morning..." He commented.

   "So? That doesn't mean I can't be happy to see you..." I retorted back, I knew he rolled his eyes.

   I let go and almost started dancing in place because I was so excited.

   I got Paul to sit down with me and my friends as we talked, eventually though he went to go and hang out with Don, Troy, and Freddie.
   "Ok everyone, time for cake and ice cream!" My mom called across the busily talkative room, everyone rushed to the table and grabbed a seat. The adults left the table for the kids so they wouldn't be trampled but I managed to find my seat at the head of the table, it was all decorated and it said "Princess Jazmine's seat" probably my mom did that...
    She always calls me "princess", dad resents that quite a lot.
   I pushed my glasses up my nose as they started to fall off when someone accidentally bumped me, finally the lights flickered off and I saw a small dim light coming from the kitchen heading towards the table.
   Everyone began to sing happy birthday to me, all I did was stare in surprise as my humungous cake started towards me.
   It was forest green with little violets made out of icing dotted here and there with a few red roses as well, and then a unicorn in the center with my name written below it in fancy dark purple writing. My grandmother always makes the most wonderful cakes ever...
   A beautiful cake...
   I felt tears start rolling down my face again, I wiped them away quickly and forced myself not to cry so my makeup wouldn't wash away and make me look like a zombie.
   "Happy birthday toooo yoouuu...." My friends and family sang out, I watched the candles flicker in the darkness letting off just enough light so I could see all of my awesome friends' faces.
   "Make a wish Jazz!" Abby grinned at me from across the table with her camera ready and waiting.
   I smiled and closed my eyes, I decided to make a mushy wish... since no one would ever know it didn't matter.
   I breathed slowly and smiled as I wished; "I wish that Abby, Paul and I will go on a great adventure someday to bring us closer together and become like siblings instead of just friends..."
   I heaved a big breath and blew all of my 16 candles out in one big breath.
   Everyone clapped and cheered and I smiled, this is definitely one of the best birthdays ever so far...
   The festivities went on, with me the center of attention... which most of the time I try to avoid. But hey, can't a girl get all of this once in a while? But I will admit, my parents went all out... a lot out... a lot farther than I thought they would.
   I expected a small party with maybe an outing with a couple friends to a dinner or a movie, and then we go to a spa and get all dressed up and thats it... but not THIS.
   The next thing I knew my mom announced that there was going to be dancing if anyone wanted to dance. I really didn't want to, but Anna, Abby, and Caprice all ganged up on me and dragged me out to the dance floor. (Which was my grandparents gigantic wood porch)
   We danced to rock music, jazz music, and pop music... and one of my definite favorites EVER Michael Jackson! We all laughed as we attempted to dance his famous song "Thriller".
   I opened my gifts after that and I got SO MANY amazing things! I got a brand new camera from my parents, perfume from Anna, art supplies from Caprice, a beautiful knee length dress from Abby, and many other awesome things...
   As everyone was talking I saw Paul sneaking over to me from the corner of my eye, I glanced up at him and he looked kind of sheepish and looked as though he wanted to say something.
   "Hey, can you um... can you come outside with me for a quick second?" He whispered, trying not to catch my friends' attention. I smiled and nodded, I quickly got up and followed him out the door.
   He sat down on the far edge of the porch out of sight so no one could watch us and patted the seat next to him, I sat down and looked up at the stars.
   "Beautiful tonight huh?" I commented, with a smile.
   "Yup," He sighed.
   "So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked casually.
   "Oh, nothing... I just... I didn't want to give you your gift in front of your friends." His cheeks flushed a little. I giggled as he became a little embarrassed.
   "Here, happy birthday from me..." He took my hand and placed in it a small black velvet box about an inch long and an inch thick.
   I opened it curiously and gasped at what was inside!
   Inside was the most beautiful necklace I've ever seen, a gorgeous heart pendant with several white jewels that looked like daimonds in it, and on the back was my name engraved in silver letters... Jazmine Marie O'Neil...
   "Oh my gosh," I gasped, my breath taken away. I looked up at him wide eyed, his cheeks were flushed as I stared up at him completely aghast. "Thank you so much!" I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back, but with reluctance.
   "This is the best birthday present so far..." I smiled looking up at him with bright eyes.
   "Your welcome..." His cheeks flushed as he smirked sheepishly and watched everyone inside party. No one noticed us sitting outside by ourselves, yet anyway... I imagine that someone would notice eventually.
   "Did you see how much Anna seems to have a crush on Don?" I smirked as I saw Anna flounce up to him and start talking to the shy dark haired boy.
   "Yeah..." Paul chuckled.
   Anna and Don are completely different species practically; Anna is very outgoing, and Don is really shy. Way much shyer than I am for that matter...
   The minutes passed in silence, it became really uncomfortable for some reason. Half of me wanted to go back to my party, but the other half wanted to stay out here away from the noise with Paul... I never really spend quality time alone with him anymore.
   Suddenly the fast pop song that was playing stopped abruptly and I saw my mom change the CD in the stereo, the song was slow but everyone stopped dancing and went on chatting and hanging out. I smiled as the lovely soft music filled my ears, the awesome soundtrack for my book "The world within" that I picked when I wrote it 4 years ago.
   "Hey um..." Paul's voice interrupted my thoughts. I glanced up at him and his face was solemn but looked very much like he was feeling awkward and embarrassed.
   "Jazz-" He stopped short when he looked at me. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, really struggling to keep calm suddenly.
   "I know this may seem awkward... but I thought... since we're never gonna actually get to go to a prom..." He got up to his feet and turned toward me with a really sheepish grin on his face. "May I have this dance?" His green eyes looked really hopeful and terrified at the same time.
   My heart raced as the seconds passed which seemed like minutes, I knew I couldn't say no. I couldn't say that to him, he's my best friend.
   My face must have looked really surprised because I saw Paul's face become really distressed. I bit my lip and felt my stomach churn and I suddenly felt kind of sick, my cheeks burned but I slowly nodded and reached out my hand towards him.
   He took my hand and I awkardly put my hands around his neck as he (with much hesitation) put his hands just a little above my waist and we began slowly turning a circle.
   I felt like I was in a story, a fairytale... even though I swore to myself that I didn't feel that way about Paul. As our eyes locked the moment seemed to magical to be real, even though on the inside I was tempted to run and barf my guts out from plain embarrasment I couldn't seem to make myself do so.
   I slowly smiled at him and he seemed to relax a little more once I did, I layed my head against his chest and closed my eyes as the song went on and on. I hardly noticed the faint sound of giggling and shushing from inside, Paul didn't seem to notice either. We both continued to dance well after the song was over and the next one came, we both didn't seem to have a care in the world now... it was just me and him now...

   I wiped a happy tear away and pulled the blanket up over my shoulder as I remembered my childhood. That was the best night of my life... and I miss it more than I ever think I've missed something in my life.
   I don't even know where that necklace is now, probably in the attic at home...
   I can't believe I'm actually going to go back home... this is going to bring back some of the best memories of my whole childhood. I smiled as I finally drifted off to sleep, anticipating the return to Humboldt with a happy heart...

*

   The next morning Abby and I drove for hours and just when I had fallen asleep while Abby drove I was suddenly awakened by Abby.

   "Jazz!" I blinked and sat up in the passenger, feeling extremely stiff.

   "Huh? What?" I mumbled groggily, the setting sun blinding me as I opened my eyes.

   A broad grin spread across her face and immediately I knew that we had arrived in Eureka, I looked out the window and saw my old hometown buildings pass by me.

   I stared with amazement, it barely changed.

   I felt as though I hadn't been here in twenty years, when it has only been 2 years...

   Before I knew it I saw my old street appear, my heart nearly stopped when I saw the house. My mouth hung open as I stared at the house. Abby had to open my door for me to finally snap out of it, she smiled and gestured for me to come out.

   "You acting like it's your wedding day or something..." She retorted sarcastically.

   I paid no attention to her smart-alec remarks. I slowly walked to the door with Abby and gently rang the doorbell, I heard excited commotion inside. Finally the door opened and my eyes locked with my mothers' she immediately grinned and embraced me and before I really realized what was happening I was being hugged and kissed insanely by my family.

   I stared in amazement at how much my little brothers had grown, Dylon had really evened out and was officially taller than me now.

   As soon as he hugged me I could feel how strong he was, he could probably really hurt me if he wanted too with one crush of his arms.

   Isaiah was still growing but he was definitely becoming a man just like Dylon, I couldn't believe that I was actually seeing my family again. But one thing is for sure, I was home... and I will never regret coming back...

Chapter II

   My head pulsed in pain as the sound of the people in Starbucks began to finally overstimulate me.
   I made a tower of whip cream for a waiting customer and quickly handed it to Greg who was waiting for it, he gave it to the customer and then I sat down on a chair and rubbed my head.
   "You are really not feeling good are you?" Greg looked at me with pity.
   "Stop it, I'm fine... I'm just over working that's all. Its the holidays and I'm really trying to keep food in my stomach. Now I know what my mother met when she said 'Enjoy childhood while you have it Jazmine...'" I sighed, completely exhausted. And the holidays weren't over yet...
   "You NEED to take the day off Jazz," He grabbed a chair and sat down next to me.
   I looked at him skeptically. "Are you crazy? I NEED the money..." I snapped.
   "Ok, you know what... I'm making you take the day off. I'll work your shift and mine." My eyes widened and I looked nervously at my co-workers.
   "Greg... I still have to work for 3 more hours." I hissed.
   "Yeah so? I have to work for 5 more hours, I just started my shift... no biggy." He shrugged, and smiled.
   "I'm not making you suffer for my sake," I growled.
   "Yes, you ARE." He pointed to my apron.
   "Your going back to your dorm to hang out with Abby, its perfectly fine with me. I've got nothing else to do all day... I promise I'll work for the next 7 hours Jazz." He smiled reassuringly, I groaned and reluctantly took off my apron.
   "Your digging yourself a hole..." I muttered.
   "Doesn't matter to me, you need the break Jazz... you've been working for the past couple months almost every day of the week." Greg took my apron from me and folded it up and tossed it into my hands.
   "Now I want you, to walk out that door and think of nothing but something fun to occupy yourself for the rest of the day. I don't want you even thinking about work or how you will do tomorrow... got it?" He gently pushed me towards the door.
   "Sure, got it..." I rolled my eyes.
   "Good, now go!" He waved me away, I smiled and waved and sauntered out the door.
   I spun my key ring on my finger and listened to them jingle as I walked to my old silver dodge truck.
   As soon as I got home I found Abby "studying" with her iPod in her ears; I rolled my eyes and grabbed a tin foil ball off the kitchen table and threw it at her. It hit her head and she nearly fell off the couch!
   "Hey, your home early..." She stared at me with confusion.
   "Yeah," I dropped my purse onto the table. "Greg practically shoved me out the door forcing me to take the rest of the day off, he's working my shift plus his." I let my head droop in her direction to watch her reaction.
   She snickered. "Awe, what a sweetheart!" She grinned mischievously. "I think he has a crush on YOU Jazzy..." She giggled.
   "Shut up!" I gasped, bolting to her and punching her arm. She laughed and shielded herself with her history textbook from another one of my blows.
   I play fought with her for a few minutes and then laughed; I decided it was about time to cook something for dinner so I started searching for something to cook.
   "Oh, Jazz... there's a message on the phone for you from your mom." Abby told me as she went into our bedroom.
   I stopped what I was doing and stared at my hand reaching for the package of spaghetti and let what she just said register... my mom called? I shut the cupboard and went over to the dorm phone and clicked play on the messages.
   "One new message Friday 1:46PM..." The automated message machine spoke robotically. It beeped and sure enough, my mom's voice filled my ears.
   "Hey Jazz!" I smirked at her enthusiasm. "Well, I just hoped you were home or something but I guess your not... I wanted to just talk to you to hear your voice but anyways, the reason why I'm calling is because I was wondering if you were going to drive on back down here for Thanksgiving." I immediately froze as her voice kept on chattering.
   "I know your probably not going to from what I've heard, so I've decided to make the descision for you. I know this sounds really bossy, but I REALLY want you to come down here for Thanksgiving. I miss you SO much Jazmine, and so does your brothers and father..." She sighed. "You'll probably say no, but I am going to pay for your trip down here anyway. There should be a check in the mail in the next day or so for you and Abby to get yourselves back home, I'm praying that Abby will somehow manage to drag your stubborn behind back to Humboldt. Anyway, you don't have to call back I guess... but at least have Abby call back. Hope I'll see you soon sweetheart... bye..." It beeped and I felt my face heat up.
   "It's not what you think Jazmine! I know your about to blow up at me!" Abby defended herself from the other room.
   I banged my forehead against the cupboard and moaned.
   "Abigail Hailey, I said I can't!!!" I screamed, I kicked a chair... which I regretted because it brought pulsing pain to my foot.
   "Jazz, come on!" She came into the kitchen and had that pleading innocent look on her face. "You know you want to," She gave me a critizising glare.
   I looked at her pleadingly, but there was definitely a sign that she was not going to be persuaded otherwise not to pursue this.
   "I honestly miss my family Abby! But I can't afford it, and just like my mom said I'm not accepting that money. I'm 19 for- geezes!!!" I groaned in frustration.
   I looked at Abby's face and she was smiling of all things!
   "What's so funny?" I snapped.
   "Nothing... just that you have no choice in whether or not your going." She inspected her finger nails casually as I gaped at her.
   "Since when do you have a say in what I do?" I stared at her, utterly shocked.
   She grinned proudly. "I already talked to our boss, and Greg I might add, your going to Humboldt whether you want to or not. Either that or you sit around here with nothing to do but homework until January..." She sat in a chair and smiled.
   I stared at her silently, that is the most conniving trick I've ever heard of...
   "Your not mad are you?" She asked, sounding a little worried.
   I shook my head and sighed. "I guess I can't be," I turned my back to her.
   "Jazz, are you ok?" Abby talked slowly, and cautiously.
   I chuckled and turned around to face her. "How can I be mad? I'm going back to the Redwoods!" I grinned, even though on the inside I was really kind of angry that they did this....
   Abby grinned back. "Woohoo!" She pumped her fist and then hopped down off the chair to stand in front of me. We did our special handshake we made up in Junior high and laughed. "Redwoods here we come!" We hugged and I guess you could say that I'm still kind of ticked... but not really... alls well that ends well...
   All I have to say is: "Look out Humboldt! CAUSE JAZZ IS IN DA HOUSE!"

Chapter I

   "....my beloved James looked down at me with his breathtaking pieces of the sky eyes; no words left my tongue. All I could hear was the sound of my quickening heart beat, the sound of James heart beat was steady and slow. Like any normal slow heart beat...
   I could not bring myself to say a single word to James, but alas, what could I say?
   James' cheeks were turning scarlet, with embarrasment. I just stared up at him wide eyed; he had just confessed to me that he loves me. And all I could do was stand there like a fool and stare!
   I felt his hand suddenly wrap around the back of my head ever so gently, he leaned in towards me and I found myself being kissed. I froze in..."

   "Jazz, Jazz!" I looked up from my laptop and saw Abby running towards me and loudly shouting my name, interrupting my deep thoughts into my book "Forever Jessa" I giggled as the librarian shushed her harshly.
   Abby quickly sprinted to me covering the rest of the space between us and sat down, hard, on the sofa I was reclining in.
   "I've been looking for you everywhere! Why didn't you tell me you were coming to the library?" She talked like she'd had about five cups of coffee before she found me.
   "Um... I always come here in the afternoon..." I blinked, holding back laughter at her jittery attitude.
   "Oh whatever," She plowed ahead. "Anyway, I'm SO glad I found you! Guess what?!" A big blissful grin appeared on her tan face.
   "What?" I smiled.
   "I got the time off to go see my family back in Cali for Christmas and Thanksgiving!" She shrieked, the librarian glared at us.
   She lowered her voice to an excited whisper. "Isn't that great?" Her feet danced while she was sitting, I couldn't help but smile at my best friends' excitement.
   "Thats great Abby..." I grinned.
   She stopped short. "Wait, didn't you ask for the time off?" Abby looked worried.
   I shook my head, completely calm but a little disappointed. "I can't afford to go back Abbs..." I half smiled briefly; saving my book in Microsoft Word and closing my laptop lid. "I need to stay here anyway to study, I have a big midterm coming up in January, I want to be prepared..." I brushed my bangs out of my face.
   "Oh..." Abby's face was a little shocked, I sighed.
   "Come on, lets get back to our dorm..." I grabbed her hand and we walked out together, I checked out a book by Charles Dickens for school and made my way back to my dorm with Abby.

*

   I guess I should explain my life currently; well, to start... I'm exactly 19 years old and I'm starting my second year in college come January. I'm working really hard to follow my dream of becoming a professional writer, I'm majoring in English Literature and I'm minoring in Photography.
   I left home just after I turned 18 and moved to where I am now with Abby; Missoula Montana, the University of Montana. I left my 2 young brothers back at home, Isaiah should be just starting Junior High by now. And Dylon should be in his Sophomore year in High school...
   And of course my parents, my older brother, Arty, however... he is about 2 years older than me which makes him 21. He went off to join the army immediately after he finished High school at 17; mom said she would never hear of any of her children going to the army but Arty wanted too protect our country.
   And so he's been in the army ever since, I don't think any of us really liked the fact that he went off to join the army. He went to the east coast too, I think he went to North Carolina or something. But fortunately he met someone, a lovely young woman named Valerie, right at my age.
   He just married her last year, and they are both still so in love.
   I can tell you right now that my mom was EXTREMELY teary eyed at his wedding, I would be too. After all he IS the first born, and its hard to see your first child go off and grow up and get married.
   But Val is great to my big brother, they love each other and even though he's always traveling they still talk whenever they can.
   I secretely hope that they will have a kid soon so I can be an aunt...
   As I grew up it was quite rough being in a house full of boys, my mom and I really enjoyed our little getaway's at the mall or a spa just to get away from all that noise.
   I got more away time than she did though, she is the mom after all and she had to take care of my brothers who were very destructive (they still are as far as I know) with Arty around.
   Growing up I was homeschooled most of the time, except for one day of the week when I took classes at my onsight Charter school Alder Grove with Abby and Paul. It was fun, but I liked being at home more... and being able to be at home gave me less distraction.
   All I did in the morning was sleep in till 8, get up, eat breakfast, and get my schoolwork done while blasting music to drown out the sound of my brothers arguing. That was the life I have to say...
   Now that I'm in college, its a lot more hectic. I have classes pretty much 24/7 during the week, I stop doing classes at around 6o'clock and usually I get back to my dorm and start studying. And then at around 7 on Tuesdays through Fridays I head off to work and do my shift till about 11o'clock at night.
   And then I do about 5 hours on Sunday after church with Abby, thats the day that both of us work together at our favorite coffee company. Starbucks it THE best...
  
   "Jazmine, are you sure you can't come? It'll be so lonely with out you..." Abby asked me again for the 10th time after we got back to our dorm.
   I groaned in irritation. "Abby just like I said 10 times before, I have no way to get there... I can't afford it." I scrubbed the plate in my hands harder, not only was I a little irritated that Abby was bugging me about going. I honestly REALLY want to go back home... I miss those beautiful redwoods and the sweet fresh breeze of autumn caressing my face...
   There were so many wonderful times back in Humboldt... I miss my beloved home more than I can put into words.
   "Didn't your mom and dad offer to pay for your trip or something?" Abby asked, my face twisted... thats the last thing that I want. My parents butting in on this, so what if I can't come THIS year? I'll just put aside some money and come next year for Christmas...
   Thats the thing that I hate about moving away, not being able to afford anything. My parents have offered to pay for me to get there but I declined; I really don't want them paying their money to get me there just so I can visit.
   Watching Christmas morning on a webcam is as close as I ever get to back home, I literally haven't been back home in about two years, or more like a bajillion million years...
   I glanced up at the clock and sighed, exhausted. Work... always sneaking up on me. Lucky for me I didn't inherit my dads personality for being "late", or as he calls it "fashionably late".
   I'm surprised he hasn't gotten fired from his airplane captain job; he's been flying planes all over the country ever since I was a baby. Its neat to have a father that does that type of thing, mainly because he OWNS his own small plane, and he took me to quite a few states when I was around 7 or 8 and he let me sit in the cockpit with my play things to keep myself occupied.
   I even got to sit in his lap when I was around 4 or 5.
   Now the coolest thing about having a pilot for a dad; is that he actually taught me how to fly his small plane that he owns when I was fifteen. Now how COOL is that? Its really easy once you get the hang of it, I actually ended up getting an airplane license around sixteen.
   But I haven't flown in a while, so I might be a little rusty. But I know the basic controls and stuff... but I've never flown a huge jet airplane. And I don't think I ever will, its a little frightening to be honest...
   I pulled my brunette hair back into a pony tail and grabbed my "Starbucks coffee co" work uniform and tied it onto my full fledged woman body. Thinking back on how mildly gangly and uneven I looked back when I was in the tween and early teen years its rather funny; I've really evened out.
   I've got my moms' "Birthing hips" as she calls them and my body has that typical hourglass figure for women now, and my arms and legs fit perfectly with the rest of my now 5'4" body.
   And I'm not trying to be a self-esteemed buthead, but I honestly think that I've gotten a lot better looking then I looked back when I was a tween and teen. A couple guys asked me out a while back, but our relationship didn't last long... and it didn't last long enough to leave me completely heart broken and a zombie like most girls.
   I'm not as stupid as guys think I am, which thats what happened to my past 2 boyfriends. We went out for at least 3 months at the max; and then they just completely and utterly dumped me like an old rag on the side of the road.
   Harsh world, huh?
   I wasn't upset though, it didn't feel right being around them. And being the oddball that I am, I've never actually had... a first kiss to be honest. I've gotten a one second peck on the cheek but thats it, no guy has ever really won my heart like I dream of.
   Someday... I do want to get married. But I'm still young, and I've got plenty of time. Whatever God has in store for me I know that he will take care of me... whether I get married or not.
   And because of my dating relationships, I tend to write about romance stories. Most of them aren't just romance though, too much romance makes me sick. I prefer horses... horses are the best.
   That is to sum it up; what I write about: Horses, love, adventure, science fiction, and non-fiction. At times all mushed together in one big book, unfortunately I've been to chicken to send in some of my books. And Abby, being the encouraging BFF she is, she's practically gotten down on her knees and begged me to send them in to a publishing company.
   But I'm waiting, waiting for the right time... I've been praying about it ever since I got into writing at around age 8. I really enjoy it, so many books have been kept in a big hope chest back in Humboldt that I wrote. My mom loves my stories and she loves going back and reading my little 4 page stories; it is a younger version of me, forever preserved in between each page.
   And as I grow in God, mentally, and physically... the more involved and better I get at putting down my dreams, and thoughts into a nicely paced book about 400 too 600 pages long.
  
   "Hey Jazz, could you take this order?" One of my co-workers, Jocie, looked at me pleadingly as the line of customers at the counter began increasing. I nodded and grabbed a headphone set with the microphone...
   "Hello welcome to Starbucks, order whenever your ready..." I said politely. A feminine voice replied into the speaker box outside.
   "Uh yeah, could I get a pumpkin spice latte please... and," She paused for a minute and I heard muffled voices on the other line. "And a peppermint mocha..." She finished.
   "Will that be all?" I asked.
   "Yup,"
   I punched the orders into the computer. "All right $10.75 at the window, thank you..." I shut the headset off momentarily and turned to the window to get the money from the customers.
   Currently only Abby, Jocie, and I are working... unfortunately. Practically everyone is gone for quite a while; visiting family or friends in other parts of the country for the holidays...
   Jared should be coming in on his shift soon, and then Abby will be able to get off after Greg comes in about an hour. We've been on our feet and working for 3 hours straight now, and it's only Thursday at 5o'clock in the evening!
   I won't be getting off for quite some time, Abby has shorter shifts than I do on Thursdays... I work pretty much full time here. I really want to get a better job, but this is paying my share of the rent for our dorm, and I am fortunately paying off slowly every penny I owe UM (University of Montana) for my tuition.
   Working here at Starbucks is a fun job, in a way... sometimes its a little nervewracking. Every time I usually get off work, I have to go home and study. But most of the time I end up falling asleep studying, and then I have to rush to class...
   Somehow I manage to get MOST of my schoolwork done; I'm pretty good at doing most of it now, before I pass out.
   And I can tell ya right now that my parents are more then proud of their baby girl working hard to earn her degree and go to work doing several shifts a day in between classes earning money... being an adult is a hard life. Money, money, money... thats basically my mind during the day...
   As for nightime, thats a different story...
   About an hour later Greg came in to take over for Abby, she gave me a hug and told me she'd see me back at the dorms... I nodded and continued to make a strawberry frappuccino for a customer.
  

*

   The long shift finally ended and I grabbed a large cup of hot chocolate for the walk back to the school; luckily it really wasn't that long of a walk back to the school. I know my way around Missoula so well that I probably know my way around just as good as back home...

   "Hey, can I have a hug before you leave?" Greg teased, with a funny grin on his face.

   "Your a baby," I laughed, but I accepted a hug. I ruffled the sandy blonde head of hair of the college student and made my way back to my dorm...

   Greg is in my World History class that I have to take to earn my major in English Literature.

   When I arrived back home I found Abby in an extremely weird situation... ok first; she had no idea that I came home. And second; she had her iPod earbuds in her ears and she was literally dancing and rocking out all over the room.

   I tapped her once and she nearly had a heart attack, she stared at me with huge eyes but she relaxed when she saw it was me. But she did look embarrassed, she shouldn't be... I rock out like she was just doing quite a lot. When she's not around anyway...
   "Hey Jazz, how was work?" She asked, smiling prancing to the kitchen and handed me a bowl of Mac-N-Cheese.
   "Great, hectic, but fun..." I snorted sarcastically. Abby rolled her eyes and shoved a mouthful of noodles in her mouth.
   I kicked my shoes off and walked over to our little stereo and found our Brandon Heath CD "Give me your eyes", I put it into the stereo and pushed play. I skipped it to the song that the album was named after "Give me your eyes" and smiled as the beautiful voice of Brandon filled my ears.
   "Give me your eyes for just one second, give me your eyes so I can see..." Abby sang perfectly in tune, I let my hair down and I grabbed my guitar and started playing with the song.
   If anything was true about Abby and I, we both were very strong christian women. We both are crazy for God and all the amazing things he has done in our lives, if I'm not home in heaven yet... then he's not finished with me. And as long as I'm breathing I'll still believe in him and live for him...
   And I guess you could say Ms. Abigail and I are definitely BFF's. After all, we've been friends since the playgroup days! I swear it seems like yesterday when mom took me to playgroup with baby Dylon and 6 year old Arty to play with other kids... thats when I met Abby...

   "Mom! Why do I have to go!?" I screeched, I hated playgroup. No one ever wants to play with a chubby little girl like me...
   "Jazmine Marie, enough!" Mom shot me an icy glare when I screamed.
   "But momma,"
   "AH! No buts Jazmine, your going and thats final..." She cut me off, Arty snickered beside me in his carseat. I glared at him and aimed a punch at his leg.
   "Mom, Jazmine's trying to hit me!" He tattled, I flailed and screamed in frustration. Mom NEVER believes me or is nice to me! I hate her!!!
   "Arthur, leave your sister alone! I WILL turn this car around if you act up again, you and your sister have ruined my patience!" She moaned, Dylon cooed quietly in his sleep on the other side of Arty, completely oblivious to my screaming and whining.
   I pouted as mom drove to the park, my curly brunette bangs hanging in my face as the wind coming in from moms' window blew my hair around.
   We arrived there and Arty immediately unbuckled himself and jumped out; grabbing the cooler for lunch and trying to drag it to one of the picnic benches where some of the moms were sitting with their little ones.
   Mom unbuckled me and then grabbed Dylon's carseat, I liked being a big sister so far, even though Dylon is only a few weeks old. I didn't get to watch Dylon be born; I was outside singing to the birds with my grandparents and Arty while he played with his action figures.
   "Come on Arty," She grabbed my hand and we walked towards the picnic benches, some moms waved and greeted my mom as she set the carseat down on one of the benches. She laughed and talked about things I didn't care about, I stood there silently really disappointed that I had to come today.
   I would rather be at home and paint a picture or play with my Barbie's.
   "Mom! Help me!" Arty groaned, trying to pull the cooler over the cement ledge that separated the grass from the parking lot.
   "I'll be right back, Jazz could you please watch Dylon for me?" She asked turning to me, I nodded and crawled over to Dylon's carseat. I looked inside and he looked back at me with big brown eyes, he looked quite interested in me.
   "Hi Dyl..." I giggled, I gently put my chubby finger in his tiny little hand. It's so amazing that he's so tiny, and its hard to believe I was a baby once.
   Mom came back and Arty had run off somewhere with his friends; mom nursed Dylon while she talked with all her friends and I sat at her feet completely bored picking at the grass. I hummed quietly as I wiggled my feet in my white tennis shoes.
   I picked at my jeans and white shirt, trying to think of something to do. But I don't want to go play with any of the girls that are playing with bubbles; it does look fun though. But then no one would talk to me, or they would all fall silent and not say a word.
   I've run into kids that actually start whispering amongst themselves, or eventually wander off not asking me if I want to come along too.
   It hurts a lot, I have no friends. The only friend I have is our cat Chazz back at home...
   "Mom I'm bored..." I whined, staring up at her quite irritated. I hope that maybe when Dylon is older he'll actually play with me, I really wanted him to be a girl but that was crushed...
   "Well Jazmine, go find something to play with... oh look," She smiled when she spotted the other little girls playing with bubbles; which I now realized that they look about Arty's age. Not mine...
   "Those girls are blowing bubbles, why don't you go play with them?" I shook my head violently, making my curls bounce around. "If you don't want to go then that's fine, but you also can't sit here and complain about how your bored... either go play or sit here and don't complain." Mom told me sternly, I sighed making my curly bangs fly up.
   The minutes went by, which seemed like hours as I watched everyone play and run... with out me. They were better off with out a stupid shy girl like me...
   A red van pulled into the parking lot, I blinked as I watched a blonde woman get out of the van and go to the side doors. She opened the side door and a curly blonde haired girl hopped out, she looked really self concious, and she looked just about four or five years old, just about my age...
   A couple other kids came out of that van, but I only looked at the little girl clinging to her moms jeans.
   Her mom had the body of a young woman or an older teenager; the girl on the other hand... she was just as pretty as her mom, and she was a little skinny and her face looked scared. Her eyes were a bright hazel color, but really pretty...
   They came towards the picnic tables and all the moms greeted the mother of the girl, all the other children had run off to play that came with the mother of the curly haired girl.
   "Hi Jo!" My mom got up and hugged her, I blinked in surprise. The little girl hid behind her mother  Jo and just watched with a freightened face.
   "So hows the new baby Kathy?" Jo asked with a smile, I stared at Jo a little nervous about her touching my baby brother.
   "He's doing absolutely wonderful, he's such a blessing to have around. He looks so much like his big brother..." Both of them chuckled, I stared at them quite confused. Why are adults so weird?
   "Wow, I haven't seen her in so long..." Jo looked at me next, I just stared and kept silent.
   "Hi Jazmine, you don't remember me but I was there at your birth..." Jo smiled at me, I blinked. "She's gotten to be such a beautiful little girl Kathy, she's definitely got your face and her fathers dark eyes and hair..." Jo giggled, I felt my cheeks heat up. Why was this strange person talking to me?
   "Yes, she's definitely got her daddy's good looks. The dark eyes are one of the features I really adore of my husband..." Mom smiled sheepishly, Jo laughed.
   "Momma, I wanna go home..." The little girl suddenly spoke.
   Jo looked at her daughter. "We'll go home in a little while Abby, why don't you go play with your Barbie's and horses..." I pricked my ears up at the sound of "horses" I love those animals...
   The little girl, Abby, frowned but went to the van and got a few toys and ran off a little ways away and sat down and started playing. I watched her play all alone with her toys, I wanted to play with someone so bad...
   I decided I didn't have anything to lose so I followed after her and slowly sat down next to her.
   She looked up at me and stared at me with frightened eyes, I forced myself to smile.
   "Hi," I picked at the grass nervously. "My name is Jazmine, whats your name?" I looked up at her, she looked at me for a moment and then replied.
   "My name is Abby," She blinked and turned back to her toys for a moment.
   "Are those horses?" I asked, pointing to her toy ponies and horses.
   "Uh huh," She nodded.
   "I love horses... they're so pretty..." I smiled. Her face seem to light up, a smile spread over her face and she turned towards me.
   "I love horses too," She paused. "Wanna play with me?" She held a horse towards me and my heart seem to flutter in excitement. I nodded and smiled happily, that moment we both clicked.

   Ever since that day Abby and I have been best friends, inseprable... us and our horses...
   I smiled as I sat on my bed studying, Abby saw my expression and smirked.
   "What are YOU thinking about?" She asked, plopping down in front of me on my bed.
   "Oh nothing, just how we met..." I giggled, it registered in her brain for a moment and she smiled.
   "Yeah, so many awesome memories huh?" She chuckled, I nodded and closed my history book.
   I climbed down from my bed and looked under the bed and found one of our old photo albums from elementary school, I opened it and started going down memory lane with Abby...
   "Oh my gosh!" Both of us froze, we found the most shocking picture ever... a picture of Paul and us at like age 8!
   "Dude! He's so little, just look at his cute smile!" Abby giggled, I stared at the picture... thats so amazing...
   "He's such a beanpole in this photo..." I snorted in amusement.
   Abby looked at it again. "Yeah! Your right, he's definitely not a beanpole anymore... he's got a huge shoulders and he's really tall!" Abby's eyes widened.
   I smiled and looked at the cute picture of my best friend Paul; I haven't seen him in about 2 years... its really hard not seeing him he's such an awesome guy.
   The last time I heard from him was when he was going off to college; as far as I know he's trying to get his masters in archeolgy. I've talked to him a couple times after he went off to college, but other then that I really haven't made contact with him at all.
   He's about a year or so older then Abby and I, he's turning 20 on December 2nd.
   Later that night after we finished looking at our photo album, Abby's cell phone rang and she smiled when she saw the caller ID.
   "Heyyy Tyler!" She giggled, twisting a lock of her hair with her fingers. I rolled my eyes and went to get my pajamas on; in case I didn't tell you Abby DOES have a boyfriend; or should I say fiance. He goes to church every Sunday with us and her parents even approve, they've been dating for maybe about a year or so. I find it really amusing how she acts when she talks to him... I think they are both waiting until they graduate from college to get married.
   I studied for about 2 hours and that's how long both of them talked on the phone, and apparantly from what I heard them talking about he's going with her back to Humboldt for at least Thanksgiving if not Christmas too.
   It sounded more like he is just going for Thanksgiving though; he wants to go and visit his family in Washington.
   "All right, so you'll just come on your own?" Abby asked Tyler on the other line, she smiled.
   "Ok, yeah... bye love you..." She hung up and then crawled into her bed. "Tyler is going to be in Humboldt with me, are you sure your not going to come?" She asked again, I shook my head.
   "I'm not going, I can't afford it... unless someone forces me to go and pays for the whole trip there and back I can't go..." I rolled over and closed my eyes.
   "Good night Abbs..." I yawned. She chuckled, that made me nervous... that laugh wasn't an innocent one.
   "Night Jazz..." She turned the light off and I fell asleep within minutes...

Introduction

   To my Lord and Savior for placing me in the wonderful family I have, and the great friends that he gave me...

I love you all so much :)

   Many times, I've never really given thought to how our little planet Earth would end.
   Many times I have ignored the fact that my time here on Earth was leaving me, faster than I ever will realize. Ever since my 13th birthday... I realized that my life was passing by so fast. And I knew that in 5 years I would be an adult, and I would be able to pursue whatever I pleased to do with my life.
   Ever since that day, that 9th of May in 2005... the day that my best friends Abby, Paul, my parents, and my 4 brothers sang Happy Birthday to me, I knew that I had to make a good wish. After all I was finally a teenager...
   "Go on make a wish sweetheart!" My mom gently pushed the cake towards me, I looked thoughtfully at the candles. I thought about everything I could ever want, every single thing went through my mind... finally I thought of something. I smiled and closed my eyes, I silently made my wish and then with one big breath I blew out the candles...
   That is one birthday wish I will never forget... and one that I should never have made. I wished that the Earth would last forever and ever and always be a happy place... that was the wrong thing to think. Earth, is never a peaceful place...
   I am a strong faithful young woman, following in the path of God as best as I can...
   I am no celebrity, I am no famous woman, I am not known by anyone except my family and friends... I'm nothing special, I'm simple as can be... and where my freckles, brown eyes, and brunette hair lay... they shall be there till I die.
   My name is Jazmine, Jazmine Marie O'Neil... and this... is my story...